Toy Story 14

Lego: Hey! You’re like the 20th person to cut me. I’ve been waiting for this roller coaster for an hour and I’m still at the back of the line!

Baby: Sucks to be you.

Lego: Grrrr!

Baby: Chill out, dude. This is how it works in Vietnam.

Lego: What? Whoever shoves their way to the front first gets to go on the ride? Ohhhh, that makes a lot of sense!

Baby: Uhhh, yeah…

Lego: I don’t get it. This is so NOT Communist!

Baby: Look, you gotta play some defense.

Lego: How?

Baby: You can’t have more than three cubic inches between you and anyone else in line.

Lego: God, I can barely breathe. All these people reek!

Baby: That was your first mistake. Never shower before standing in a Vietnamese line. It’s the easiest offensive play in the book. But there’s still other things you can do, like coughing obnoxiously loud, then pretending to hack up something nasty and make a big show like you’re about to hock it.

Oh, and farting is always a good one, but the lady in red up there already played that card.

Lego: Hey, there’s a three-year old trying to climb through my legs!

Baby: Hurry and jab ‘em in the rib cage with your knee!

(Wham!)

Baby: Niiiiice. Pinned against the railing! That kid’s going nowhere - even crying a little. See, you’re getting the hang of it.

Lego: Alright, well since you helped me out, I guess I’ll let you have back cuts.

Baby: Suck it, Lego. I’m stayin’ right here.

Lego: Geeze, you’re not even Vietnamese - what’s your deal?

Baby: I am too Vietnamese.

Lego: What?

Baby: I’m a Vietnamese souvenir.

Lego: What do you have to do with Vietnam? You look like a cross between Chuckie and Casper!

Baby: Hells yeah…you know you want me.

(Check out the backstory on this series here: http://shortstorylongtrip.tumblr.com/post/5831793806/toy-story )

Nha Trang, Vietnam