Home: Where Napkins are Free and You Can Have as Many Ketchups as You Want

Ever heard of reverse culture shock?
#whitewhine   #firstworldproblems   #shitbackpackerssay

No, seriously.

The other day, we got in our Mini Cooper, drove ourselves to our DMV appointment, and were home in about an hour. The GPS made sure we avoided traffic, our pre-booked appointment made sure we didn’t wait. It was easy. Crazy easy. And this is the DMV we’re talking about!

We weren’t sure what to do with ourselves when we got home. On our big trip, stuff like this would take us DAYS. Figure out the bus schedule, go to the wrong place three times, wait for the bridge to be fixed, wait for the office to open, bribe a few officials, accidentally get dropped off in a red light district, return to find out we’re missing some official stamp and have to start all over.

It’s like somebody pushed the “Easy” button on our life. Suddenly, tap water is drinkable. Nothing is broken. Nobody waits. In America, ATMs don’t run out of money. Public toilets are free. Prices are fixed. The streets may not be paved with gold but hey, they’re paved!! The first day at home we’re giddy with delight, like poor refugee kids that arrive in the US and run around flipping light switches for the pure joy of it. Five minutes later, we’re bored out of our minds.

But the Easy button doesn’t work on everything. That urge to lock up our stuff and booby-trap the door before bed doesn’t just go away. We’re still eating like we’ve never seen food before. And for the first time in nearly a year, we can understand everything said to us. And near us. Suddenly unable to tune out the conversations of others, we’re too distracted to have one of our own.

People like to ask us “So, how WAS it?” or “You must feel like completely different people, huh?” the appropriate answers to which would be novellas, but we find ourselves struggling for words.

Being home is easy, and being home is hard. Slowly things will go back to the way they were…but maybe not all the way back. At least, that’s our hope.